Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Once the honeymoon period is over, sex is often relegated to the back burner. But there are ways of turning up the heat, as our relationships therapist reveals

How to fancy him again

According to a recent report, the average Britain makes love 118 times a year. If you?re married, you will probably suspect that someone has been boasting or that single people have been very busy.

The guilty secret for many long-term couples is that although they still love each other, they seldom have sex. Once upon a time, lust might have brought them together but is now the one thing missing from their relationship.

Love and marriage might go together, but often sex and marriage don?t seem remotely compatible. When you?ve been together for years, how do you keep the passion alive? Here are 10 hot tips to keep the romance alive:

1. Be intimate without being sexual by casual touching, such as holding hands in the street.

2. Look at your partner when you speak to them. At the height of the honeymoon phase, couples look at each other 70 per cent of the time. Couples who?ve been together longer look into each others eyes for as little as 30 percent of the time.

3. Plan a sex date: for example a bottle of wine and a candlelit meal at home. Anticipation is a bridge to desire.

4. Create distance: see your partner through the eyes of others. This creates room for desire in couples who do everything together.

5. Play is important. I know couples who?ve had food fights and played on swings and slides. Games break down barriers between couples and reveal partners in a new light, and this is ultimately very sexy.

6. Use fantasy: allow daydreams of strangers or famous faces to simmer until you get into the bedroom.

7. Change location for love-making: don?t be shy about expressing your preferences - in the shower, four-poster bed, cheap motel, or on a blanket on the ground.

8. Be romantic: enjoy dressing up and going out, dance together, place candles by the bed, rose petals in the bath.

9. Be erotic: watch yourself making love in a mirror, share saucy videos together, buy adult toys.

10. Be sensual: give each other massages, cuddle on the sofa semi-clothed, share long lingering kisses.

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